Monday, 21 October 2013

Agoraphobia

Agoraphobia


Frozen like an icicle
Hanging from the door frame
I thaw slowly, push with resistance
One foot out into the rush of world.
Each step highly strung,
Footprints left on doorsteps
Behind me, follow in procession
Like mourners in the cort├Ęge
Of laughter remembered.

The rain falls heavier
Offers a drenching, a baptism,
I move faster on returning
To the dangerous safety of being alone,
The crushing testimony of silence,
The unbearable wrongness of being,
Unpeel the hide of secrets and bury
Them under floorboards, under beds,
Under memory’s ever increasing weight.

Dread growing at the thought
Of conversation unravelling me,
The accidental touch of strangers
And the nausea of their apologies.

Frozen like an icicle
Waiting to snap
As if I wasn’t already

Broken.

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